


Oxt

by ACatWhoWrites



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 22:49:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7989010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ACatWhoWrites/pseuds/ACatWhoWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"...the love hormone oxytocin has similar affects to being drunk..." Jongdae's in love and can't handle it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oxt

**Author's Note:**

> There's a bit of swearing, so I set a teen rating. This was going to be a boy scout fic. I couldn't keep the ranks straight, though. Instead, it's more Jongdae's POV of the original fic, with some dialogue taken [right from the original](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2339138) (by [hyemiyah](http://archiveofourown.org/users/hyemiyah/pseuds/hyemiyah)/[iwantchocopie](http://iwantchocopie.livejournal.com/)), because it already happened, so.
> 
> The title is the shortened form of Oxytocin, the "hug hormone" or "love hormone." A [study](http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-05/uob-tds051515.php) was conducted that studied the relationship and similarities between it and alcohol, because the effects and side-effects are very similar. It seemed fitting.

It's getting late in the evening, and they should all consider going to bed like responsible adults that follow a set, reasonable bedtime, but they're adults by law, only. Jongdae knows that they'll all be whiny and grumpy in the morning, but Chanyeol is single-mindedly narrating the movie they've all already seen, and Kyungsoo's back is warm against Jongdae's legs. The electric blue of the picture dyes his face while the incandescent hall light someone left on highlights his dark hair, painting a dreamlike image.

The keypad outside the front door beeps, the lock clicks, and Baekhyun skulks through the door looking sullen. He's too quiet and doesn't even greet his long-time friends and room mates, so Jongdae knows something's up.

"What happened to you?"

Baekhyun kicks his shoes aside and tosses his coat on top of the pile on their coat rack. It's reaching heights rivalling Chanyeol; they should really put them away, sometime. "Had a fight with Taeyeonie, I don't want to talk about it."

Chanyeol's on his feet and drawing Baekhyun close with an arm around his shoulders, guiding him to the sofa to sit wedged between him and Jongdae. "Well, _of course_ that’s the only thing we can talk about. What did you do?" Kyungsoo shakes his head and sighs softly, ignoring them. Really, Jongdae feels kind of similarly. Baekhyun should know better than to say anything when looking so glum, especially when his girlfriend's involved. It just carries a glaring subtitle of TEASE ME.

"Why are you assuming it was my fault?" Baekhyun's pouting and slouching as much as he can with Chanyeol still latched to his side.

"Because noona is flawless. She doesn't have a single flaw." Chanyeol bends his arm to pet Baekhyun's head. It's rather condescending. Jongdae just pats his knee and nods, because it's true. The only thing marring Taeyeon's otherwise perfectness is the glaring question of just how she and Baekhyun started dating. The guy doesn't even have a driver's license.

Baekhyun swats at Chanyeol's hand and tries to escape, but Chanyeol's bigger and has octopus-like qualities. "Well, it was her fault this time," he declares. "You're supposed to be my friends, why are you always on her side?"

Jongdae leans and dips his head to look at Baekyhun's scowl. His hand works under Chanyeol's arm—he finally removes it entirely—and rubs circles between his friend's shoulder blades. "Shall I give her a call and tell her nobody puts Baby in a corner? Will that make Baby feel better?" Ever since finding out the pet name, none of them have let it go. Within minutes, Jongdae had a reserve of Dirty Dancing references just for times like this.

Baekhyun hums, eyes drooping closed as he leans into the touch. "Wait, what? _No_!" He shoves his hands into the couch cushion and thrusts his hips upwards, throwing himself away from his betraying friends. "Why do I even keep you guys around? You're horrible people!" He's an octave short in his petulant rant of stomping his foot. It sets off Chanyeol, who barks and claps with laughter so hard he nearly falls onto Kyungsoo, who recoils and kicks him until he rolls away.

"Kyungsoo's here, too, and he's not horrible." Out of all of them, Kyungsoo's the most quiet. Jongdae appreciates that, but he prefers the flare ups of sass and wit and scalding, deadpan retorts. He notices the blush inching up the back of Kyungsoo's neck. _Cute_.

Baekhyun snorts, a sound carrying the weight of heavy cynicism. Hands on his hips, he says, "When I was on my date earlier, he sent me a text asking if Taeyeon noona had broken up with me already."

Jongdae gasps. "He _didn't_!" The rest of them give Baekhyun copious amounts of crap, but Kyungsoo's usually pretty relaxed verbally. He typically goes for a physical assault, like kicking Chanyeol again, who's once again imitating a tickled seal. The blush hasn't receded, glowing scarlet in the light from the hall.

"That was revenge for using up all the hot water this morning," he retorts stoicly.

"You know, Kyungsoo," Baekhyun's pout has flipped up to a mocking grin, and he slips back onto the sofa beside Jongdae and trails a hand down his chest, playing with the wrinkles of his T-shirt, "rather than focusing on my love life, you should start worrying about yours." His fingers catch and pull Jongdae's neckline down a little.

Kyungsoo faces the television again, ears a matching red with his neck. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Something jumps in Jongdae's chest; he's not sure if it's his heart or his stomach, trying to escape. He gazes curiously at Baekhyun and then Kyungsoo, who hunches over his drawn up knees defensively. "Is our Kyungsoo in love?"

"Who is it, Kyungsoo?" Chanyeol rolls onto his stomach and points to himself with a wide smile. "Is it me?"

"It's no one."

"Aww, our Kyungsoo fell in love," Jongdae sings as he leans forward to tickle Kyungsoo's chin. The skin is hot under his fingers. "How cute is that?"

Baekhyun watches them quietly, contemplative, then _ah-ha_ s slowly. "So this is how it is? You two are so dumb." He shakes his head sadly. "Kyungsoo, you should just—"

" _Shut up_ , Baekhyun!"

The eldest gets to his feet and leaves, heading to his room and parting with a wise, "Whatever. I just hope you know you're being stupid."

Jongdae looks between the two, utterly lost. His heart—pretty sure it's his heart—has calmed down a little.

"Wait, what's going on?" At least Chanyeol's as lost as he is, if not moreso. He does feel a bit bad when both Baekhyun and Kyungsoo—a furious shade of scarlet—both shout at him to shut up.

 

 

Jongdae's putting books into the library's computer system while chatting with Baekhyun. They're both done with classes for the day, and Baekhyun's wasting time before meeting Taeyeon for a date. Few people are in the library, so Baekhyun's sitting on the counter, swinging his legs and messing up the stacks of books Jongdae has to sort through. Jongdae's close to attaching a book sticker to Baekhyun's back, just so he'll set off the scanners on either side of the double doors, when Joonmyun, an upperclassman friend, meanders out from the depths of the reference section. Even tired, he manages to look flawless and subtly expensive in a sweater that probably cost a healthy percentage of what their apartment is worth.

"Hey, hyung!" Baekhyun chirps, flinching when Jongdae whacks the back of his head with a book.

Joonmyun smiles. "Hello. Done for the day?"

"I'm waiting for Taeyeonie noona. Jongdae's working 'til closing." He tweaks Jongdae's ear. "No worries, though," he sighs unnecessarily. "Dinner will still be hot and waiting for him when he gets home, like always." He says something about dinner _not being the only thing hot and waiting_ under his breath, but Joonmyun's commenting on how nice it must be.

"My parents are on vacation for a few weeks, celebrating their anniversary. It's kind of lonely without them."

"Oh, the absolute _desolation_ you must feel," Baekhyun croons, dragging a fingertip down Joonmyun's cheek, tracing an invisible tear, "all by your lonesome in that giant palace." Baekhyun giggles when Joonmyun swats his teasing hand away. "But, you know, this could actually be a blessing."

"How so?" Joonmyun scoots aside to let a student up to the counter. She blushes and fidgets when Jongdae smiles at her and takes her ID to check out the small stack of books she shyly pushes forward.

Baekhyun hums as she leaves and looks to Joonmyun. "How lonely could you be if there were a bunch of people over?" Joonmyun blinks somewhat stupidly, but Jongdae follows Baekhyun's thinking. "A _party_ , hyung! I bet that if you had a little social gathering, and invited me, I would of course invite Taeyeon noona, who would probably," he drawls teasingly, "invite her very very close friend Seo Joohyun noona."

Joonmyun's hand immediately rises to rub the back of his neck, a sign of shyness matching the pleased blush dusting his cheekbones. "You think?"

Jongdae shakes his head. It's amazing how easy Joonmyun is where Joohyun's concerned. He's normally fairly rational, considerate, and responsible, but Baekhyun has the strange talent of debunking all of that. And he knows it. "I know it!" he swears. His phone buzzes, and he hops to the ground. "This weekend, then?"

"Friday?" Joonmyun's still swept up in whatever his Inner Mind Theatre is playing, but Baekhyun runs with it.

"This Friday. Perfect. Nothing else is going on." He waves to Jongdae. "See you later. I'll tell Chanyeol." Between Baekhyun and Chanyeol, the _little social gathering_ will easily rival any block party. They watch Baekhyun bounce out the doors, and Jongdae rests his chin on his hand.

"You know, hyung, it's okay to tell him 'no.'"

"Huh? What?" Joonmyun blinks, released from Baekhyun's spell of pushiness.

"Have you planned a party yourself, before?"

"No, but," he shrugs, "how hard can it be?"

"Lock up anything valuable, open the bar and front door."

Joonmyun nods, looking a little more concerned than he had when the idea was first fed to him, but then he says goodbye to Jongdae and leaves, muttering something about caterers.

Jongdae had finished putting books into the system while Baekhyun bewitched Joonmyun and sets them all in the one good cart that didn't squeak or rattle before pulling his own phone from his back pocket. There are messages from Chanyeol and Baekhyun, from earlier, plus a recent one revealing news of the party that weekend. Jongdae ignores them and pulls up a private chat window for Kyungsoo.

**joonmyun hyung's hosting a party this weekend. wanna go with me?**

**No.** Kyungsoo's text is succinct, as always, with proper grammar and punctuation. 

**D':**

**why not? it'll be fun.**

**Your idea of fun and mine are decidedly different.**

He snaps a quick selfie, all wide-eyes and pouty lips. **pleeeeeease???** He glances up around the library, but no one's around.

**If I say I'll make an appearance, will you be satisfied and leave me alone?**

**❤❤❤** Victorious, Jongdae squeezes his hand into a fist and pumps it excitedly. Kyungsoo is the one friend among them who rarely—if ever—goes to parties. He prefers small, intimate gatherings or just being by himself reading or playing video games, and Jongdae can respect that—he really can—it's just that if he got Kyungsoo in an environment with alcohol, there is a greater probability of them drinking. And if they drink, lips are loosened and confidence is bolstered.

It could be a very good thing.

 

 

Baekhyun says he'll meet up with Chanyeol and Jongdae later, so they—plus a less than thrilled but strangely compliant Kyungsoo—head to Joonmyun's on their own and immediately dive into the crowd.

Joonmyun really exceeded expectations. Jongdae is equal parts impressed and envious, because his friend really only did it all to have an opportunity to hang out with a girl. Like, normal people would just ask someone out, not go through the hassle of planning, hosting, and monitoring a party. He lives in a constant state of stress; Jongdae doesn't even want to imagine how he feels right now.

In a way, Jongdae's not much better. The butterflies in his stomach are puking and swimming in acid. He grabs a beer from one of the dozen ice-filled tubs and pulls his sleeve over his hand to twist the cap off. The bottle hisses and pops; Jongdae tips it up against his lips and looks around the room.

He's lost everyone but Chanyeol, easily spotted over the crowd. A group of girls have flocked around him, drawn to the indie band image Chanyeol's got going on. Plus, he actually plays guitar and drums. Girls love that.

Jongdae chugs his beer, opens another one, and elbows his way through the throng of drunken debauchery and regrettable decisions. He jumps when a wandering hand grabs his ass, but it's just Baekhyun. "Where's noona?"

"What?" Baekhyun shouts and curls a hand around his ear.

"Taeyeon noona!"

"She's playing moral support for Jooyeon noona!" He leans around Jongdae, looking for something. "Kyungsoo?"

Jongdae shrugs. Baekhyun does something weird with his face, like he's frustrated and anxious at once. He doesn't say anything, though, and pats Jongdae's arm before waving and diving back into the fray.

He finds a less popular room with actual open seats and is delighted to find a familiar face. "Jonginie!"

Jongin looks up from his feet, amber bottle dangling from a hand, and smiles broadly. "Jongdae hyung!"

"Having fun?" Jongdae sits beside the underclassman and ruffles his hair. It's kind of stiff from some sort of product; Jongin swats his hand away but doesn't do much to fix it.

He shrugs. "I guess. Sehun abandoned me right away." He sips his beer and grimaces. "This is disgusting."

"It's the expensive stuff. Doesn't mean it's any good." Jongin makes another face and wordlessly hands it to Jongdae. 

Jongin's friend Taemin traipses over and falls onto Jongin's lap, pink-cheeked and giggly. Kibum retrieves him with many sighs and moans of how he's no one's mother, even as he nags Taemin to his feet and mothers him out of the room with an apology thrown over his shoulder.

They sit and chat, watching as other party-goers passed through in various states of drunkenness. "Have you seen Chanyeol?"

"Hm?" Jongin blinks, checking back into reality. "Oh, yeah... There were a bunch of girls, so I didn't say hi or anything."

"I bet he'd like it, if you would," Jongdae presses gently. It's cute, really. Chanyeol doesn't hide his affection for Jongin unless someone points it out, then he's all fierce denial and deflection and sad, mopey things like _he can do better_. And Jongin...likes the attention, but he's no better when called out on it. He blushes and hides his face bemoans his existence and choice in friends.

He actually looks something akin to hopeful when he says, "Really?"

"I'm sure the girls wouldn't mind. They won't bite unless provoked." Jongin slouches, groaning, and Jongdae wraps an arm around his shoulders to rock him teasingly.

Jongdae's laughing when he notices Kyungsoo in the doorway opposite the sofa. He feels bad for leaving him, even when it was kind of his fault Kyungsoo agreed to "make an appearance" in the first place. The younger man's cheeks are flushed, and his eyes are a little glassy as well as a little hostile, practically glaring at Jongin. While he's not the friendliest, most outgoing person, Kyungsoo usually remains politely indifferent. The alcohol must be working against his social graces, what few he had.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt." He stays put, and Jongdae gets to his feet to re-introduce Jongin before he spontaneously combusted. He links his arm with Kyungsoo's, and he smiles at Jongin, a flash of teeth.

"Kyungsoo-yah, remember Jonginie? Look how much he's grown!" Jongdae puts a hand to his own cheek, grinning fondly. "He used to be so cute, and now he's turned into a bangable lad."

Jongin blushes and laughs behind his hand. "Ah, hyung, don't say that."

"It's the honest truth!" He laughs, too loud for the quieter room. Kyungsoo slips from his grasp and stumbles over his feet a little.

"I'm just going to go," he says. "I'm not feeling very well."

He must have had too much to drink. Even his neck is flushed, and his eyes are having trouble staying open and focused. They fall to the ground, glance at Jongdae's face, bounce from wall to wall and finally back to his feet. Jongdae catches his arm again before he can fall over, asking, "Do you want me to go with you?" He fully expects Kyungsoo to say no, but he nods and mumbles, instead, and Jongdae's heart jumps to his throat. "I'm going to take Kyungsoo home." Jongin nods slowly, biting his lip as though he has something to say. "I think he had enough excitement for one night." 

Kyungsoo leans into him. He's so warm. Jongdae feels his own shirt sticking to his back. "You're drunk, too."

"But not as drunk as you." Jongdae throws Jongin a bright smile that feels a little fake, betrayed by nerves, even to him. "Later, Jonginie. Don't do anything I wouldn't." 

"Get home safe, hyungs."

Shuffling out of the thumping house party out onto the street feels as though there's cotton in Jongdae's ears. It's almost too quiet. He readjusts his grip on Kyungsoo and checks his phone—too late for any taxis to be in the neighbourhood unless he called a service. It'd be faster to just walk the few blocks home.

"C'mon, Soo," he chirps. "We're walking." Kyungsoo doesn't seem to mind. He must not like the quiet of the sleeping neighbourhood, either, because he starts talking.

"What were you doing there," he pauses, belches, and finishes, "with Jongin?"

Jongdae grins, watching a stray cat slink through someone's yard. "We were chatting. Why do you ask?"

"Are you an idiot?" Kyungsoo struggles, but Jongdae holds firm. _Who's an idiot? What does he mean?_

"What do you mean?"

"Are you serious?" He stumbles from Jongdae's lax hold and flinches when he holds his arms out to catch him. "You know very well how Chanyeol feels about him."

"I know how Chanyeol feels about Jonginie, Kyungsoo," Jongdae speaks softly, like trying to soothe a scared cat that's coiled in a corner, only Kyungsoo's outside and can walk away from Jongdae—if he wasn't so drunk. "That's why I was talking to him." _Why is he saying this?_

"It didn't seem like you two were just talking."

Jongdae gets it, and he is offended his friend could ever even imagine such a thing. "I've known the kid since we were little. He's like my little brother. Why don't you just tell me what you really want to say?" He doesn't raise his voice, but Kyungsoo's quiet and stubbornly sullen.

They stand—swaying a little, on Kyungsoo's part—for at least a minute, until a brief gust of wind blows the tension right out of Jongdae's neck and shoulders. He sighs and puts an arm around Kyungsoo. "C'mon," he says. "Let's get you home, drunkard." Kyungsoo's drunk; he can't be entirely responsible for his behaviour and probably won't even remember it in the morning.

"You're too nice, Jongdae-yah." Kyungsoo's head drops to Jongdae's shoulder briefly, rolls back upright, and Jongdae's caught by the shadow of his eyelashes and flush of his cheeks. He knows it's the alcohol, but it just looks too goddamn _cute_ , and even under the bitterness of the booze, he can catch the scents of the laundry detergent and fabric softener Kyungsoo likes. They're rarely so close; Kyungsoo isn't nearly as clingy or touchy-feely as Baekhyun and Chanyeol, who hang on anyone and everyone and would probably die if they didn't have their hands.

It's too easy to pretend that they're not shuffling home from too much alcohol and noise. Too easy to pretend Kyungsoo's willingly in Jongdae's partial embrace and not because he'd trip over his own feet and sleep on the sidewalk, otherwise. It's just too easy to lean in even closer and kiss his lips...

Until his brain catches up and cuts through the fantasy. "Oh, shit. Kyungsoo," he apologises, tripping over his words and holding up his hands in fear of retaliation. "I'm _so sorry_... I..." Somehow, Kyungsoo's perfectly still on his own, eyes wide and face a mask of shock. Jongdae almost asks if he's okay, ready to apologise again, but the mask breaks, and Kyungsoo pitches forward, retching. Jongdae jumps away, although he feels his own stomach squirming when his sneakers catch spittle and vomit, but he lunges forward to catch Kyungsoo before he can fall right into the puddle of his own disgust and regret.

Jongdae hauls him upright, not feeling much better.

_God, I'm such an ass._

 

 

He leaves his shoes outside—no one's even awake to want to steal his puke shoes—and gets Kyungsoo to their apartment with a bit of difficulty, since his friend's—former friend, probably—body seems to have checked out after purging itself. Kyungsoo falls onto his bed, mumbling and moving sluggishly, but he doesn't respond when Jongdae mops his face with a wet washcloth and unties his shoes. He usually sleeps in his underwear and a shirt, but Jongdae's not feeling at all brave anymore, so he just throws a blanket over him, leaves some painkillers and a bottle of water on the bedside table and goes back outside to hose off his shoes.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun aren't home, yet, and Jongdae's too lonely in his misery. He watches Kyungsoo sleep from the bedroom doorway for a little while, letting his agony eat at his insides, and decides he can't just mope. They were both _drunk_ ; worse things happen to drunk people than kissing their friends. When in doubt, blame the alcohol. No homo.

They keep post-it notes in a catch-all drawer in the kitchen. Jongdae uncaps a marker, writes a brief hope-you're-feeling-better message, and sticks it onto the water bottle. There. Well wishes with an undercurrent of apology.

He's too tired to shower. He just strips down to his boxers and crawls into Baekhyun's bed, because it's the next best thing to cuddling, and Chanyeol's is always covered in plush Rilakkuma toys.

He can hear Kyungsoo rolling over in his sleep and hates himself, because he can't help whom he falls in love with, but he should be able to control himself and his actions.

_I'm such an idiot._

 

 

Baekhyun doesn't mind sharing his bed, but he does kick Jongdae to he floor after he recounts his hellish afterparty walk home with Kyungsoo.

"You're so stupid!"

"I know!" Jongdae cries, rubbing his hip. That's going to bruise, but he supposes he deserves it. "I didn't even _say_ anything, but it was like we were having a moment, and words didn't exist, but he was just drunk off his ass and not aware of anything until I had to get all gay on him."

Baekhyun huffs and crosses his arms. "That's not why you're stupid. Not the only reason, anyway."

"It's not?" He can't imagine anything else.

"No. Now get off my floor and go shower. You smell awful."

"But—Baek, what do you mean?" Baekhyun, although barely bigger than Jongdae, bullies him into the hall and locks the door behind him.

"Just talk to him later!" he calls through the door.

Jongdae glances at the clock on the microwave. If he showers now and leaves early, Kyungsoo won't even be up, yet. He can get to school and spend some quality time thinking of ways to ask Kyungsoo's forgiveness.

 

 

Only he doesn't. Not entirely. He thinks long and hard on how to apologise, but he never takes any opportunity to. He goes to class early, takes later shifts at work or just sits at the library after his shift is over, and basically spends every waking—and sleeping—moment avoiding the issue and communicating through post-it notes in the refrigerator. It's obvious he's avoiding Kyungsoo, and he knows it's obvious. Even Chanyeol knows it's obvious, and both he and Baekhyun judge Jongdae whenever they see him, but they just don't _get it_.

Jongdae and Kyungsoo have been friends since their awkward pre-teen years, when he, Baekhyun, and Chanyeol witnessed a kid picking on a quiet underclassman, Kyungsoo. They walked to and from school together, experienced puberty and the weird urges that came with it, growth spurts, graduations, birthdays... He doesn't want to lose any of that just because he can't keep his gay crush to himself. They're awkward twenty-somethings, now; they've come too far for Jongdae to have ruined everything.

And yet, Kyungsoo had been so repulsed and sickened that he literally threw up. That's a pretty solid rejection, and Jongdae needs time to get over it.

They don't have to date, although it would be really nice.

Jongdae just wants his friend back.

So, he does what any awkward heart-broken, twenty-something would do: He goes to the bar down the street and tells the bartender to keep the booze pouring until Jongdae can't find his feet.

The bartender, unfortunately for Jongdae, cuts him off after his eighth or ninth drink and offers to call him a cab. It's a good idea, because while Jongdae knows perfectly well that his feet are at the bottom of his legs, they don't seem to want to work all that great, and neither does the keypad outside the apartment, because he's certain he is hitting each button right in its centre and has the right order of numbers, but it's just not opening. Maybe he'll have to sleep in the hall.

The lock clicks, and Jongdae almost cheers, because _he did it!_ only Kyungsoo's in the open doorway and frowning, and it's really not a good look on him.

"What are you doing? You're going to wake up the entire building."

"I'm sorry, Kyungsoo," he whispers. His tongue feels fat, so he enunciates as best as he can. "Did you guys change the password? Is this another one of your pranks?"

"Nobody changed the password, Jongdae. You're just drunk."

That's funny. Jongdae giggles as he's dragged into the apartment. He's so drunk. "I am drunk, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are. Why did you drink so much? You still have to go to class in the morning."

"Mmm..." Jongdae tries to remove his shoes one-handed, still clinging to Kyungsoo. It's nice and warm, not clammy, and he'll gladly struggle if it means hanging onto Kyungsoo's hand.

Maybe Kyungsoo thinks it's nice, too, or he just doesn't want to upset a drunk Jongdae—because drunk Jongdaes can make for whiny Jongdaes—since he doesn't force Jongdae to let go and instead kneels to join Jongdae's free hand in untying his shoes. "You're a mess."

Truer words have never been spoken, Jongdae thinks. He's a mess within a mess within a mess. A messeption. Things could've been handled right away and moved past, because they're all adults here, but no. Jongdae hid and slunk around and just made everything worse. It's so late. Why isn't Kyungsoo in bed and asleep?

"I'm sorry, Kyungsoo-yah." Jongdae rests his forehead on Kyungsoo's shoulder when he stands upright. It pulls his neck muscles a little, but it's easier than facing him, and he's also just really warm. "I shouldn't have kissed you. I'm sorry I ruined everything." His voice is thick. He tries to swallow the lump in his throat. "Can we go back to being friends? I promise... I won't..." He can't even say it; he's so ashamed. "I won't do that again. Please, Kyungsoo. I miss you." He just wanted to apologise, but if if works, begging for forgiveness sounds like a good way to go.

"I missed you, too. And you didn't ruin anything, Jongdae."

"Yes, I did." Kyungsoo's too nice for his own good, trying to spare Jongdae's feelings. "I kissed you, and you were so disgusted that you threw up on my shoes." He's holding Kyungsoo's forearms, now, both to stay upright and to keep himself from running away and also just to touch Kyungsoo. Jongdae's a physical person, like Baekhyun and Chanyeol; it's part of why they get along so well and probably a big part of why Kyungsoo's often annoyed with them.

Kyungsoo laughs, a brief burst of air forced up through his nose. It sounds weird. "I threw up," he says slowly, and Jongdae's drunk, not stupid, "because I had too much to drink, silly." He lifts Jongdae's head from his shoulder, and Jongdae can't get himself to look away. Kyungsoo's just so handsome and concerned and close. Even with his blurry vision, Jongdae can see the pores in Kyungsoo's nose and wrinkles over his lips and count the stars in his eyes, and he must be delirious. "I'd like to kiss you again, if you don't mind."

Jongdae's drunk, not deaf, but did he actually hear that right? Maybe his hearing it going; his heart could be playing tricks on him again. Kyungsoo looks like he's waiting for... _something_. He chews his bottom lip when nervous. Jongdae's just not sure, though. He doesn't want to mess things up again, even worse than before.

"Here's the part where you say you don't mind," Kyungsoo stage-whispers. He means it. He _honestly_ means it. Jongdae's floored, but Kyungsoo isn't the kind of person to tease like this and insult feelings.

Those feelings well up in Jongdae's chest, catch the lump in his throat, and escape in a fit of laughter. His fingers squeeze Kyungsoo's elbows, and he shakes his head giddily. "I don't mind at all."

Kyungsoo kisses him softly, as though testing Jongdae, but a drunk Jongdae with feelings is an impatient Jongdae, and there's a whiny sort of protest in his throat when Kyungsoo looks at him again.

"You taste awful," he says with a tic to his lips. The smile wins out, and he kisses Jongdae again and again until they're breathless and laughing.


End file.
